Strangers?
- May 31, 2017
- 4 min read
I'm an introvert, when left to myself. I'm totally comfortable being inside the house or on the porch with a cup of coffee or tea reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching an interview on YouTube. Or, walking in our neighborhood park, thinking, listening to the sound the wind makes as the breeze rustles the leaves on the trees, or the chirping birds (this is a recognized bird watching park). Or, sitting there in the park, people watching, with my thoughts, hopes and dreams.
When I really stop to consider it, I'm amazed to be a part of the learning and development profession, years past, spent as a Microsoft Certified Trainer (MCT); meaning, standing in front of groups of people daily.
Incredible.
I was the kid in junior high school that couldn't get the words out of my month to speak to people. Intensely shy, reserved, wallflower - not the life of the party.
But, are there really any strangers in our lives? I mean, really? Even as an introvert, there is no need to be reserved with people, right?
I've known this about myself, well, forever. And, honestly, as an adult, when I don't get enough alone time, I mean, truly alone silent time, I become unbalanced (thanks Coach Jay Forte, for helping me with this critical insight - I'm over-the-moon excited about working with you in your coaching practice).
Brandy Parker, is not an introvert. I met her when I attended the 2017 Training Industry and Conference Expo (#TICE2017).
(This is cool, I'm caught in this day one preview for about five seconds - super short, but I think it's cool. And, it's just the beginning of being in front of thousands sharing personal growth and development, gooey goodness, learning and development.)
This trick may work for other introverts that are destined to change the world, but wonder how they can do it, as an introvert.
I wanted to get the most out of #TICE2017. Meaning, connecting with people. Learning about them and their work. So that I could glean best practices and bring some of those goodies back to my organization (my day job). I knew I could not be my usual self.
So, I came up with a plan. Weeks before the conference, I began writing down how I wanted to be, the experience I wanted to have, my ultimate goal for attending the conference.
I wrote it in different places. On my Notes and Reminders list on my iPhone. A few times on my daily tasks list at work (old school, pencil and a legal pad with my own identification system, think Bullet Journal-like). In my idea notebook, kept in my vehicle (people say their great ideas come to them in the shower, mine often come to me, during rush hour commutes, 98% of the time I drive with the radio off).
In other words, I bombarded myself, with the expectation of how I would be. I repeated the message over and over, to myself, for weeks, leading up to the conference. I psyched myself up.
The result?
If you look closely, I'm on stage with Jack Canfield, during his opening keynote called Life Lessons for Training Success and Kelly Leonard of Second City during his presentation titled Building Something from Nothing: Using Improvisation to Form Ensemble Members and Manage Risks.
I've used this technique for years to push beyond my natural introvertedness.
On the first night of the conference I meet Brandy Parker, I immediately felt comfortable with her. During Jack's keynote, she and I were shoulder buddies for two activities. At one point we had to verbalize a big hairy audacious goal (BHAG) to one another. Mine was to have 50,000 active followers of my blog by the end of 2017.
Why?
So I can apply to be a MindValley affiliate. Phew...did I just write that...I'm kinda shaking right now. 50,000 raving fans is the least I need to even be considered for a spot to represent MindValley. I've had a fanboy crush on MindValley since I learned of their company culture and founder Vishen Lakhiani, years ago. Besides, I'm going to have so much fun travelling to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
And of course, there is Awesomeness Fest a.k.a. A-Fest. I can already see and feel the life changing learning and connections I've made there, with some of the best minds in the world.
Back to Brandy and I.
On the back of my business card, I wrote the above goal, 50,000 followers by the end of 2017. That's Big and Hairy and Bodacious!
After the conference I tried following up with Brandy. It took a while. But, we did get a chance to message through LinkedIn.
She asked me, how my goal was coming along and that, she'll be checking up on me.
I invited her to hold me accountable. She was a stranger. But, I shared that goal with her anyway.
Which goes back to my original question. Are there really any strangers? Or, as the adage goes, just friends I haven't met yet.
Brandy was so cool and fun and down to earth. I'm certain, I'll see her again.
Check out an overview of the presentation she did at #TICE2016 (I saw her at the 2017 conference). Visit her Flip The Meeting website here, an awesome idea, I'm looking forward to using it at my organization.
So, if you're like me, an introvert, use the psych up method to ready yourself to be in those, oh-so-frequent in-the-public-eye situations. That stranger may turn out to be an accountability partner, give it a shot, you never know.
We introverts are powerful, though extroverts are heard more frequently.
Check out Susan Cain's popular TED Talk on The Power of Introverts and be encouraged, because the world needs you more than you know.
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