Boundaries
- Apr 1, 2017
- 2 min read
Development Takes Time
Development, personal or otherwise takes time. We seem to understand that in the realm of the typical "education system" and maybe even in the workplace. But not in the home.
In my relationship, I find myself explaining what I'm doing and why I'm doing it to my life partner, more and more. Building something takes time. Especially, when you're still getting clear.
Talk through tension spots and set clear boundaries to remain in rapport.
Openness, Understanding, Validation and Welcoming
If loved ones give you a crooked look for spending hours online (reading articles, watching videos, taking courses, filling your brain with fuel to move your personal development forward) - don't get annoyed. Revisit the boundaries you all agreed on.
Understand, time is fleeting for all of us. No-one has yet identified the exact science for balancing time for your personal development business, YOUR personal development, and your relationships (family and intimate).
Be patient with your beloved. Offer understanding by putting yourself in their head. Take on their perspective - as in, "are you going to spend all day on your computer and NOT with me?" Be open to that perspective. Feel it deep inside. Recognize, you know that feeling and you don't like it either.
I find so many ideas go through my mind about different things to try and/or learn. I often open my laptop and get to it. My beloved's primary love language is sharing time. When that fact slips my mind it creates undesired energy between us.
I come back center by stopping and explaining what's going on in my head and why I feel it's important. I say "see this on the website, that's what I'm researching at the moment, because..." (use the words that fit your situation).
Then, "what do you think about that?"
Then, "I know my time is consumed right now and we will manage that by balancing things out with a visit to the beach tomorrow, once I complete this block of activities." Again, use your words.
The ultimate phrase is something like "I'm intentionally working on becoming the most excellent version of myself and THAT will go a long way in our life together".
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